It’s been one of those rare, perfect mornings for me. Rare needs no explanation. It’s rare because I don’t experience mornings like this too often. Perfect–because I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Not one thing.
What is even better, I’ve been changed because of it. Not because of the morning itself, rather, because of how I chose to spend it.
Today it is just me and the cats at home–and the clutter I still need to attend to. But for some reason, I was fully able to ignore the clutter and not feel guilty. For some reason I recognized what I was choosing was of far more importance. Far more value. And had the potential to change my life.
“What” you may ask, “did Lori do?”
And the answer would be, “Nothing.”
Nothing it all that would be considered by anyone else as ‘world changing’. Yet for me it was. It changed my world.
I woke up at my usual time, said good-bye to my hubby as he headed off to work, then went back to sleep. I slept in! This girl doesn’t do that—I mean really slept in. Like it was almost afternoon before I got up slept in. Some of you may be wondering what the big deal about that is. Others. You understand. And let me take it a step further–I slept in without feeling guilty. That’s huge! (For me, at least.)
The sleeping in without feeling guilty was wonderful, but what was life changing is the choice I made after.
Even though my day was “half gone” by sleeping in. And even though I had “a plan” of everything I wanted to get done knowing I seldom have full days at home to myself; instead of jumping out of bed and getting to the list of chores, berating myself for sleeping in, I reveled in it. I laid there for awhile appreciating the sound of my grandfather clock ticking in the living room just feet away. I breathed in deeply the fragrance of the essential oil in my diffuser next to my bed. I looked out the window at the snow sparkling on the evergreen trees outside. And I just let it all soak in. As I did, I gave thanks to my Heavenly Father for all of it.
And that is when it hit.
Certain circumstances currently in my life came to mind threatening to steal the peace and the joy of my moment. It would have been so easy to allow them to. Instead I “took captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5) those thoughts. I pictured those circumstances as a huge weight before me–that was pretty easy to picture because at times that is exactly what they are; a huge weight. I pictured myself trying as hard as I could in my own strength to push them before the throne of God, to leave them at His feet. But try as I might, I didn’t have enough strength. The stack would barely budge. Then I pictured the breath of God, one tiny exhale on His part and the weight before me became tiny particles that drifted slowly away. And isn’t that really the truth of it? What is huge before me is nothing for God. What I can’t see around He can evaporate with one small breath.
From there, I went into prayer. Not a “wish list” prayer time. Rather a pouring out of my heart prayer time. A time when I ask the hard questions of Him and sometimes (like today) He whispers the answers to my heart. I’m learning not to ask the questions unless I really want the answers because God is not the impersonal, silent, stand-at-a-distance God we sometimes think He is. Not when we come before Him in humility and honesty. No. He reaches down to our level and speaks to us–if only we choose to listen.
And that was the ‘world changing’ part of my morning. I chose, rather than get up and hit my to-do list, to sit and ask the hard questions of God. And then I chose to sit and listen to His whispers to my heart, even when what He was saying was painful. Brought tears to my eyes and down my cheeks.
My circumstances, the ones I pictured before me unable to budge, haven’t changed–yet–but I have. I did. As I chose to spend time with my Father and listen to what He had to say, He revealed attitudes within me, fear I hadn’t recognized, that was directly influencing these circumstances.
That led to another choice. I could get up and ignore what He had to say, or I could take heed, confess to Him my wrong attitudes and motivations. Allow Him to transform me.
If in my position, which would you choose?
This time, I made the life-changing choice. I chose to listen, to confess, to repent, to allow Him to change my heart. I wish I could say I always make that choice, but I can’t. I don’t.
If I have learned anything in this spiritual journey I am on, it is this–when I choose to listen and obey God it doesn’t just affect me, it has a domino effect on everyone around me. When I am changed by God I live better, I love better, I impact others positively. If however, I choose not to listen and obey what God is speaking to me I stay trapped in whatever it is He is revealing to me–fear, arrogance, pride, selfishness..and the list goes on. That too has a domino effect, but the impact is not positive, it’s negative.
So the way I see it, obedience to the whispers of God is a win-win. For me and for all those around me. Disobedience, may be easier in the moment (because who wants to step out of their comfort zone and make changes, or apologize, or confront someone/something amiss in our lives? Not this girl!) but in the end I will regret it if I don’t. In the end I will always wonder “what if I would have?” And in the end, whatever God is revealing to me is really for my good and the good of everyone around me.
Do you struggle with believing God is good and only wants your best? Are you still trapped in the “religious” ideas of God that man has created? Do you wonder if it is possible to really hear from God?
These are all questions I have had to personally work through as I journey through life. And I am the first to say I have SO much more to learn! But I am ever so thankful God has/is showing me who He is and how much He loves me as I choose to go deeper and be still before Him.
You know what the cool part is? This isn’t just a God and Lori thing. Anyone willing to take the time away from the busyness of life, to ignore the to-do list and simply come before God with an honest heart and open ears can experience this. He loves each one of us that much! That includes you, my friend. <3
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38
I welcome any questions or comments you may have about God or my walk with Him. Just hit the connect button and send me a message. But like I said, I am still on the journey myself, I don’t pretend to know it all. What I have learned/am learning though, I am more than willing to share. 🙂